There’s a certain charm in transparency, but sometimes being an open book isn’t the best policy.
Psychology suggests that there are certain things that are better kept under wraps.
For one, it helps maintain your privacy and personal boundaries. And guess what? It also makes you more intriguing.
In this piece, I’ll be sharing 10 things in life that psychology recommends keeping to yourself.
Let’s get started.
1) Personal life details
We all love a good chat, right? But there’s a fine line between sharing and oversharing.
Psychology suggests maintaining some level of mystery about your personal life. It’s not about secrecy, but rather about maintaining a sense of individuality.
Your relationship status, family issues, or financial situation are some things that you might want to keep close to your chest. Not only does it protect your privacy, but it also prevents you from becoming the subject of unnecessary gossip or judgment.
It’s not about hiding who you are, but about choosing what you reveal and when. And according to psychology, that’s a smart move.
2) Past resentments
I’ve learned the hard way that sharing past resentments often does more harm than good.
It was a few years back, I’d had a falling-out with a close friend. We’d managed to patch things up, but the hurt lingered. One day, in a moment of vulnerability, I shared the story with another friend.
Instead of providing the comfort I was looking for, it backfired. My friend started to see me differently, as someone who holds grudges. It strained our relationship and made me realize some things are better left unsaid.
Psychology backs this up too. Sharing your past resentments can cast you in a negative light and could even impact your current relationships. It’s often better to deal with your past grievances privately or seek professional help if needed.
3) Your next big move
Did you know that talking about your future plans can actually make you less likely to achieve them?
This is because when you share your goals, the praise and recognition you receive can create a premature sense of accomplishment. This often leads to a decrease in motivation to actually pursue and achieve those goals.
Whether it’s a new business idea, a lifestyle change, or a travel plan, it might be best to keep your cards close to your chest until you’ve taken concrete steps towards your goal. It’s not just smart, it’s psychological.
4) Good deeds
In an era where every meal, workout, or achievement is posted on social media, it can be tempting to share your good deeds with the world.
However, psychology suggests that boasting about your charitable acts could undermine the very essence of altruism.
When you keep your good deeds to yourself, it ensures they remain selfless and not a means for self-promotion. It adds a layer of authenticity to your actions and fosters genuine feelings of fulfillment.
When you help someone out or donate to a good cause, try keeping it to yourself. You might find the satisfaction is reward enough.
5) Personal beliefs
We all have our personal beliefs – be it religion, politics, or social issues. While it’s important to stand up for what you believe in, sharing these beliefs openly can often lead to unnecessary debates and conflicts.
Psychology suggests that people are less likely to change their deeply-rooted beliefs based on someone else’s opinion. So, attempting to impose your views on others rarely ends well.
By keeping your personal beliefs to yourself, you can maintain harmony in your relationships and avoid potential conflict. After all, agreeing to disagree is often the best policy.
6) Your fears and insecurities
We all have our fears and insecurities. It’s part of being human. But sharing these deep-seated feelings isn’t always beneficial.
While it’s essential to seek help when you’re overwhelmed, constantly talking about your fears and insecurities can sometimes amplify them. It can make you feel more vulnerable and less confident.
Psychology suggests that focusing on your strengths and working on your weaknesses privately can build resilience and self-esteem. While it’s okay to let your guard down sometimes, remember that it’s equally important to protect your inner peace.
7) Failures and setbacks
I remember the time I didn’t get the job I’d been vying for. I was devastated and in an attempt to seek comfort, I shared this setback with almost everyone I knew. Instead of feeling better, I found myself reliving the disappointment over and over again.
Psychology advises against sharing your failures and setbacks too widely. It’s not about pretending to be perfect, but understanding that continually discussing your disappointments can reinforce negative feelings.
Instead, consider discussing these matters with a select few who can provide constructive advice or comfort. And remember, everyone fails sometimes – it’s how we grow.
8) Your physical fitness
In a world obsessed with health and fitness, it might seem like a good idea to share your workout routine or diet plan with others. However, psychology suggests otherwise.
Discussing your fitness journey can sometimes shift the focus from health to appearance, and can invite unwanted opinions or comparisons. It can also set unrealistic expectations for yourself and others.
Whether you’ve just run a marathon or started a new diet, consider keeping your physical fitness journey to yourself. The real reward is in the results you see and feel, not in the recognition you might get.
9) Your income
Money talks, but it doesn’t always need to be broadcasted.
Discussing your income can lead to uncomfortable situations and comparisons. People may start to see you differently, for better or worse, based on your financial status.
Psychology suggests that keeping your income private not only maintains a sense of dignity but also avoids potential envy or judgment from others.
Your worth is not determined by the number on your paycheck. Keep your financial matters to yourself and focus on the value you bring as an individual.
10) Your secrets
The most sacred things you should keep to yourself are your secrets.
These intimate details of your life are precious. They are a part of your identity, your experiences, and your story. Sharing them indiscriminately can sometimes lead to betrayal or misuse of information.
Psychology recommends protecting these aspects of your life. By keeping your secrets, you maintain your privacy, safeguard your individuality, and uphold trust within your relationships.
A final thought
The art of keeping things to yourself is not about creating walls or living in secrecy. It’s about understanding the power of personal boundaries and the role they play in preserving your identity, mental health, and relationships.
Each piece of information we choose to share or withhold contributes to how we are perceived and how we perceive ourselves.
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, once said, “He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.”
But perhaps the secret lies not in keeping secrets, but in knowing what to reveal and when. The balance between sharing and withholding is a dance each of us must learn for ourselves. And as with many dances, it’s often the steps taken in silence that speak volumes.
So as you navigate through life, remember – some things are simply better kept to yourself.
