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4 Unexpected Ways Kids Show They’re Overwhelmed

A young boy wearing headphones and sucking on pacifier looking wary

Unexpected ways kids show they’re overwhelmed can sometimes catch us off guard. Kids often struggle to tell us exactly what’s on their minds. So when they’re dealing with big emotions or a whirlwind of new experiences, it’s up to us to play detective.

I remember one day when my youngest suddenly refused to go outside to play. At first, I thought he was just having an “off day.” But as it turned out, he was actually feeling overwhelmed by all the changes happening at school.

You see, kids don’t always say, “Mom, I’m overwhelmed!” Instead, they show it in subtle ways that can leave us scratching our heads. Here are a few surprising signs I’ve learned to look out for that might mean our kids are feeling a bit overloaded.

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4 Unexpected Ways Kids Show They’re Overwhelmed

1. They Become Extra Clingy

A banner with squiggles, a photo of a young girl in glasses, and the text "#1. They Become Extra Clingy"

Sometimes, kids show they’re overwhelmed by wanting to be near us all the time. I noticed this with my oldest when he first started school. Suddenly, he was following me from room to room, asking to help with every little chore

At first, I thought, “Well, maybe he’s just trying to be helpful.” But after a few days, I realized he was feeling anxious about his new routine and just needed some extra reassurance. For kids, that closeness can be comforting when their little world feels out of control.

2. Changes in Appetite or Eating Habits

A banner with squiggles, a photo of a young girl in glasses, and the text "#2. Changes in Appetite or Eating Habits"

When kids are overwhelmed, their eating habits can change. And this is not always in ways we’d expect. 

My middle son, who’s usually a little snack lover, suddenly lost interest in his favorite after-school treat last year. It took me a while to connect the dots, but I eventually realized he was anxious about a big project at school. Kids might not even realize they’re losing their appetite because they’re stressed, but it’s a subtle clue we can watch out for.

3. They Show Frustration with Small Things

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You know those moments when something small, like a sock that won’t stay up, suddenly turns into a meltdown? That can be a clue. Kids’ frustration over little things often signals that they’re feeling overwhelmed elsewhere. 

I’ll never forget when my youngest had a complete meltdown over a puzzle piece that just wouldn’t fit. I later found out he was worried about making friends at a new playgroup. That puzzle piece wasn’t the real problem. It was just the tip of the iceberg!

4. Avoidance of Things They Normally Enjoy

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If a usually talkative, active child suddenly becomes quiet or uninterested in things they love, it’s worth taking a closer look. My oldest went through a phase where he didn’t want to do our usual bedtime stories, and it took me a while to figure out that he was nervous about a math test. Sometimes, kids back away from activities they usually find fun because those moments feel “too much” when everything else feels out of control.

What You Can Do to Help

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When you notice these signs, here are some gentle ways to support your child:

  • Create a safe, open space: Sit nearby with a quiet activity, like coloring or reading. Sometimes, kids start sharing their thoughts when they don’t feel pressured to talk.
  • Listen without “fixing: Resist the urge to jump in with solutions. Sometimes, kids just need someone to listen and understand. My son once shared his worries about friends, and just listening made him feel heard.
  • Prioritize extra downtime: If your child seems stressed, consider clearing the schedule for a day or two. Slowing down can be the reset they need. I’ve seen firsthand how staying home for a quiet weekend can restore their smiles and energy.

Wrapping Up

Understanding these signs has helped me respond more calmly and patiently when my kids feel a little lost. So, if your child starts acting differently, take a moment to check in with them. Often, it’s not about fixing the behavior but supporting them through what’s beneath it.

Have you noticed any unexpected ways kids show they’re overwhelmed? Share your experience below!

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