Navigating friendships as we age isn’t always a walk in the park. Like anything of value, they require work, time, and sometimes, a bit of self-adjustment.
Say goodbye to certain behaviors and you’ll notice a significant enhancement in the depth and closeness of your friendships. These behaviors might seem harmless, but they can slowly chip away at the bonds we have with others.
In this article, I’ll guide you through seven behaviors you need to kick to the curb if you want to strengthen your friendships as you grow older. Trust me, your social circle will thank you.
1) Being judgmental
As we age, our opinions and beliefs often solidify. But when it comes to maintaining close friendships, being rigid in our viewpoints can be a deterrent.
Being judgmental can create unnecessary rifts in friendships. Think about it: who wants to spend time with someone who constantly criticizes their choices?
Strive to be more accepting and understanding. Embrace the differences and remember that everyone’s journey is unique.
This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything your friends do. But accepting them for who they are can go a long way in strengthening your bond.
So, let go of the habit of being overly judgmental. Your friends will appreciate you more for it, and your relationships will undoubtedly deepen.
2) Neglecting to stay in touch
Life gets busy, I understand. Jobs, family, and countless responsibilities can fill up our days. But if you want to keep your friendships strong as you age, you can’t let these be an excuse to lose touch.
I remember a time when I hadn’t talked to my best friend in months because both of us were caught up in our own worlds. One day, I realized how much I missed our conversations and immediately decided to call her. We spent hours catching up, and it felt like no time had passed.
From that day on, I committed to regularly checking in with her, even if it was just a quick text message. The result? Our friendship became even stronger than before.
Remember, it doesn’t always have to be a long conversation. A simple ‘how are you?’ can mean the world to someone and help keep the friendship alive. Don’t let the hustle and bustle of life get in the way of nurturing your relationships.
3) Breaking promises
Trust is the backbone of any strong relationship, and nothing can erode it quicker than broken promises. Whether it’s showing up late to a meeting, not doing something you said you would, or making commitments you can’t keep, these all chip away at the trust that forms the bedrock of your friendships.
Did you know that the human brain perceives a broken promise as a form of social rejection? It’s true. And as social creatures, we naturally avoid those who cause us pain. This is why repeatedly breaking promises can push your friends away over time.
If you want to maintain close friendships as you grow older, make sure to honor your commitments and follow through on your promises. It’s a simple yet effective way to strengthen your bonds with others.
4) Lack of empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It’s more than just sympathizing with them; it’s about putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from their perspective.
If you lack empathy, it can make your friends feel misunderstood or alone, especially during hard times. This can create a distance between you and them, making it hard to maintain close friendships.
The good news is empathy is like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it gets. So, make an effort to understand your friends’ feelings. Listen to them without judgment, validate their emotions, and offer support when they need it.
Being there for your friends in this way can make all the difference in creating deep, meaningful relationships that last a lifetime.
5) Taking more than you give
Friendship, like any relationship, is about balance. There’s a give-and-take that needs to happen for the relationship to flourish.
I’ve been guilty of this imbalance myself. I once had a friend who was always there for me, supporting me and cheering me on, but I neglected to reciprocate. I was going through a tough time, and it felt like my problems were bigger than anything else.
One day, my friend gently pointed out that our friendship had become one-sided. It was a wake-up call for me. I realized that I had been leaning on her too heavily and not offering enough in return.
From that day on, I made a conscious effort to be there for her as much as she was for me. It wasn’t about keeping score but about ensuring that both of us felt valued and supported in the friendship.
So if you want your friendships to grow stronger as you age, ensure you’re giving as much as you’re taking. It’s all about balance.
6) Holding onto grudges
Let’s face it, disagreements and conflicts are part and parcel of any close relationship. But holding onto grudges can create a permanent dent in your friendships.
When you hold a grudge, it’s like carrying a heavy weight around with you. It affects your mood, your interactions, and most importantly, the dynamics of your friendship.
Instead, try to address the issue openly. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your friend about what bothered you. Most of the time, misunderstandings can be cleared up through open and honest communication.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but it does mean letting go of the resentment. This will not only improve your friendship but also your overall emotional well-being.
7) Not appreciating your friends
Appreciation is the glue that holds friendships together. It’s easy to take our friends for granted, especially those we’ve known for years. But this can slowly cause a drift in the relationship.
Show your friends that you value and appreciate them. A simple thank you, a kind word or a small gesture can work wonders in making your friends feel special and valued.
Remember, people will forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. So make sure your friends always feel appreciated. It’s the best gift you can give them.
Embrace the journey
The beauty of friendships is that they’re not stagnant. They grow, evolve, and sometimes even falter as we navigate the different stages of our lives.
Our behaviors play a significant role in shaping these relationships. Saying goodbye to the seven behaviors discussed can pave the way for deeper and more meaningful connections.
So, cherish your friendships. Nurture them with understanding, empathy, and appreciation. It’s never too late to change or let go of behaviors that no longer serve us or our relationships.
As you move forward, reflect on your own behaviors. Ask yourself, “Am I being the friend I would want to have?” Your answer might surprise you.
