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How to Have a Relaxing Bath with Kids in 22 Easy Steps

Lately, my body hates me. I won’t get into my medical history, but my body aches, cramps and tenses periodically throughout the day and it isn’t a whole lot of fun. One of the greatest ways to get the aches to dissipate is to run a nice hot bath. Sunday afternoon hit and I could barely function. So, I informed my husband of my plans, made my way upstairs, and ran a bath in the hopes of re-emerging feeling more like me. I will be honest, I did come out of the bath feeling much better than before. So, I thought I would share how you too can enjoy a nice relaxing bath at home when the kids are still awake. It only requires about 22 steps to accomplish the same experience I had.

How to Enjoy a Relaxing Bath when the Kids are Awake in 22 Easy Steps

Need a little TLC during your day as a SAHM? Take a much needed relaxing bath by following these 22 simple steps. Mom humour. Funny mom blogs. Sarcastic mom humor.


  1. Inform your husband of your plans. Getting him on the same page will surely result in as smooth of an experience as possible.
  2. Head upstairs. Be sure to grab a good read before heading into the bathroom.
  3. Remove the copious amounts of bath toys from the bath. Of course, these should have been cleaned up after the kids’ last bath time but obviously weren’t.
  4. Remove mystery sludge from the bath. Resolve never to try and identify mystery substances by smelling them again.
  5. Run a nice hot bath using Epsom salts, essential oils, and/ every other fixing to make this experience especially lavish.
  6. Disrobe, slip into the bath, and start reading. This really is nice, isn’t it?
  7. Feeling your aches and pains start to ease as you slowly acquire a pint-sized audience.
  8. Pretend not to notice said audience. Move your shampoo and conditioner away from their reach.
  9. Realize that ignoring said audience is futile as they attempt to missile launch the previously removed bath toys into your bath water.
  10. Drop your book to your side and do your best to remove each toy as it is fired.
  11. Have your attempts at a toy-free bath shut down as the entire container of bath toys dumped upon you.
  12. Realize the toys may have been a planned decoy to soap your hair. Your non-toy wielding toddler found the one bottle you forgot to move to the other side of the bath and used it on your hair.
  13. Rince your hair with a vengeance hoping a good shampoo will be enough to get the healthy amount of soap out of your hair.
  14. Decide that ignoring the bath toys, your audience, and their two-front attack is the best way to salvage this bath.
  15. Have your preschooler use the toilet and request you wipe her bum.
  16. Attend to your child only to realize that in the process your toddler son has disrobed and climbed into your bath.
  17. Realize it is now unfair to exclude your preschooler and acquiesce to her pleads to join the bath too.
  18. Undress your second child.
  19. As you make way for her to join in the “fun,” feel a cold stream of liquid hit your body.
  20. Turn towards the stream confirming that you are, in fact, being peed on by your toddler.
  21. Erupt in laughter as only you can in such a situation.
  22. Emerge from the bath wondering why on earth anyone would pay for a spa when relaxing at home is so darn tangible?
[bctt tweet=”Vow never to try to ID mystery sludge by smelling it & 21 tips for a relaxing bath. #parenting” username=”parentfromheart”]


  1. Alana, I love it!!! I laughed so hard by the end my hubby and kids thought I was losing it!!! Hopefully it helped a little!!! ❤❤❤

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